Verse of Expression...I wrote this off without any intention. It wasn't easy to press even a single key on this keyboard and express out all of those things which keep running circle in my head. I only may describe it as a complicated matters which I didn't know how to untie it, roll it and keep it nicely and show you how does it looked like because the tangle is begin without a start and end without an end.
It just like a circle rubber band which has been tangled up and you didn't know how to make it. A sip of smokes & a milligram of nicotine may reduce the depress a little bit. It's Ok even for a while...
I didn't know how to express it in a line of words.
Exhausted & Lost...
I'm just finished with the biomass plant commissioning & testing period. It running well but need some modification on the heat transmission system & logic control unit (PLC). I need to return back to the plant almost every night after office hour after several phone call. I'm totally faces insufficient quality sleeps, fluctuation of emotion and variable conflict between the desire, responsibility and needed.
I went back there while the other fellas have their own nice sleep but I, facing the hot ambient temperature, flying sawdust, bubbling solid fuel and wet sweat which covered all over my face. Result? ain't got anything. They pay me even smaller then the guys which seat back everyday right in front of the PC with fucking PC games. That's the way the world serve the technical person.
I'm just been there only upon my responsibility to protect my men and the machinery from any hazard. But I do really love this job and really love the environment because I've a very supportive team and friends. That's why it was really hard for me to leave this shit. :) MONEY DOES MATTER!
Projects
Since money does matter, I need to find any opportunity which makes more money then my current pay check. I'm involving in some mini project such as fitness equipment for outdoor unit for the government agency and private park, rice husk pallet for agro-fuel (JV with Mr. G & Mr. Ridzwan for Swiss market) and erecting a new mini thermal generator for paddy dryer unit for rice mill. I hope Allah be with me... O' Allah I need more money to helps me & others...
Alone+Easy Target
I'll keep this keyboard off from my sight for a while, while having my coffee & nicotine. I don't wanna be alone... I need someone to support me in every single of my life's segment and I choose her to be mine. I don't wanna be alone because I'm the easy target....
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